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I Freaking Did It Y'all

I started my painting business on a whim in January 2018. I never imagined or expected it to take off and be a “thing” at that point. It might have been 6 months in until I started to realize; I wasn’t just going through the motions of having my own business…I was running a business, my OWN business and becoming more and more successful at it every day. Now, let me just tell you this... in two and a half years, I have learned a loooooooot of things. And I still learn something new every day. I think your spidey senses become heightened the longer you’re in the game. I’ve been burned, hurt, hated, loved and everything in between. But my skin has also gotten a lot thicker, but not completely penetrable. But you know what? I keep going…I keep doing me…I work hard and I make it happen, whatever IT is.

Flash forward to June 12, 2020. I walked out of my office of 12 years on this day. I walked out with tears in my eyes and a head full of excitement, doubts, uncertainty…but I left. And I ugly cried allllll the way home. I dreamt of that day for SO LONG and as exciting as it was, I was absolutely terrified. I still am a little, to be honest. When you don’t know where your next paycheck will come from or how much it will be is a scary feeling for someone who has been working for 24 years, for anyone really. And I was giving up a LOT of amazing benefits…cheap health care, a fully vested pension plan, ya know, all the important grown up stuff. I’m a budgeter. A planner. I’m talking spreadsheets and cash flow projections y’all (I know, don’t judge me) and I knew this was going to be a hard adjustment. Not just for me, but for my husband as well. And the guilt. OHHHH, the guilt. Now, I felt like I had thrown the financial burden solely on my husband’s shoulders because, I may not get paid this month!!! Or next month. Then the following month I could make more than he did, then the next month, a fraction of what I did in corporate America and so on and so on…..

I gave my notice in the middle of a worldwide shut down that I like to call Coronapocalypse 2020…when millions of people WISHED they could KEEP their job. Seriously, who does this??!! I live in Texas y’all. We are the biggest oil producer in the world. And my area, is the biggest oil producer in Texas. Oil was bouncing between -$20 something a barrel up to maybe $35 and our economy was tanking. Fast. Layoffs were happening left and right. My husband is in the gas industry and they were getting hit hard. BUT this is how my husband is…when he sees me want something (even though it scares the crap out of him), he helps make it happen. Gosh, I love him. It’s gotta be hard being married to me though LOL.

I had to face harsh realities when I had my moments of “welllll, maybe I can make it work a little longer”. Real talk y’all. I was exhausted. Working full time, then doing my business on nights and weekends and during lunch breaks and running a group on top of that was beginning to take a toll. My marriage was suffering. My kids were suffering. My mental and emotional state was suffering. I was tired and miserable. Something had to give. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was missing out on family time and I wasn’t present. I wasn’t PRESENT…. And when I heard my husband’s affirmation of this, I died a thousand deaths inside. Graduation is just around the corner for my older kids; a freshman and a sophomore. The youngest is starting kindergarten. I refused to miss out on anymore.

I had been planning for this for 6 months, right after I had to go back to work after my 2 week Christmas Vacation. My ultimate goal was by the end of 2020. I buckled down on the checkbook, paid off a LOT of debt to “replace” my income by eliminating those monthly payments and started looking at our spending habits. The week before I put in my notice, I listed our boat for sale, which was 5 years old and hadn’t seen water in 4 years (insert eye roll) and it sold that day! Everything was falling into place and making sense and weird signs kept popping up to tell me that everything was going to be okay and that I was doing the right thing….yet I cried. Every single day. No exaggeration. From the day we made the decision, to the day of leaving. Even a few random days after and as I type these sentences out. It was one of the hardest, emotional decisions. I even had a few days where I alllllmost took back my resignation. I didn’t realize how much of an impact it would have on me, emotionally. And did I mention the guilt I felt?

I just wrapped up being a full-time business owner for two full weeks and it’s taking some adjusting for sure. I felt like I had to hit the ground sprinting, not running, but sprinting. I quickly realized, I had to slow it down or I was going to exhaust myself. Still, I type this at 6:15 in the morning on a Saturday because for some reason, I have been unable to sleep since being home. I’ve been up since 4:30 am. Who does that?! On the upside, getting up so early gives me time to do some computer work before the little one wakes up and I can clear my head, enjoy my coffee and plan my day.

So, I decided to start a blog. I’m a furniture artist, a business coach and mentor and I teach. But, this blog probably won’t be your typical blog you see from furniture artists. I am live on social media often showing tips and tricks and how-to’s and painting techniques…..I am going to write. Write about my excitements, my wins, my failures, how I got there, how I failed….everything. This business is hard. Juggling the full-time job with the kids and the hubby and my membership group was hard. But THIS. What I’m doing now…I know will be the hardest I’ve ever had to work. But I’m TOTALLY okay with that. Because it’s what I enjoy. It’s what makes me happy. You do what you have to do to satisfy that craving your soul has. You feed the beast inside that keeps you going. You do what it takes, you follow your heart, your gut and your dreams y'all….Chase.Them.Dang.Dreams!


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